The Pros and Cons of Unattended Cremations

Recently I have read a lot about how bad non-attended cremations are for the next of kin and mourners.

 I’ve also spoken to people who think they are the best thing since sliced bread and relish the opportunity to dispose of the worn-out shell and celebrate the life of the person in a different way.

 Within any sphere of life there are a range of ways to do things. We see this with weddings: registry office with only witnesses, right through to church and huge country weddings. Some weddings cost a fortune, others very little. At a private registry office wedding guests left out may feel disgruntled for a while but usually get over it. It is after all their ego calling for attention.

 Sometimes I feel it can be a bit similar with the non-attended cremation. There is no need for anyone to be there, no need for a new outfit, or to feed people who haven’t been to see the deceased in years. No need to agree over hymns, music, prayers, tributes.

 Covid and the lockdown broke the back of the funeral tradition. Attendance was strictly limited to the point that the non-attended cremation with an event at a later time for invitees to get together, became an acceptable, even desirable thing to do.

 The flood gates have now opened and 30% of cremations are non-attended. The cost is much less than a standard attended cremation, but people are not always choosing on cost grounds. It is a positive choice to do things differently.

 Some people just don’t like what they call ‘fuss’ and the thought of not having to go through a funeral process makes them feel relieved. Many people are opting for a non-attended cremation for themselves and buying a funeral plan to cover costs when the time comes. Relatives can always add on extra bits if they want to but in my experience some people are very happy to follow the wishes of the deceased, others not so. It’s all a case of personal preference. Problems can arise when families don’t agree, that’s why making it clear what you want when you die is important – although not legally binding it certainly give those left behind a steer. Only time will tell if the non-attended cremation is here to stay and if we as a society will get used to the lack of a funeral to say our goodbyes. We may have to come up with our own personal ways of honouring the dead if a funeral isn’t an option.

 Maybe it’s time to ‘think out of the box’ on the subject of cremation?

Photo provided by the Good Funeral Guild: https://goodfuneralguild.co.uk/